Child's Play
by QTW
Summary: A series of games for Thane and FemShepard to play. This is going to be fun. Rated for mentions of sex and nudity.


This started out as a get well story for my friend who's gotten sick (AGAIN) and has an obsession with Thane. I just thought I'd share. Go ahead and review if you want. Give me a few other games you want to see Shepard and Thane play. I'd be happy to write something.

I don't own anything. If I did I would be the Mass Effect junkie I am now.

Enjoy.

_**Child's Play**_

"Dammit."

_Siha_?

The glossy black eyes of a drell drifted open blearily. At first there is nothing amiss. Nothing except, for the vacancy and lack of heat next to him. A moan originating from a very familiar source sounds out behind him in an articulation of annoyance. Papers shuffle for a bit and then settle again. The man known as Thane Krios gave a drawn out yawn before rousing himself from sleep fully.

"Morning sleepy-scales."

Thane smiled at his Siha's morning pet name for him. Between the two was a game in which one of them would awake before the other and if they could successfully move from the bed without rousing their partner it was a point earned.

Shepard turned her attention from a paper she'd been hunched over to Thane.

"Score?" Thane brushed through his unfading memories.

"27 to five, my advantage." A small smirk was evident on Thane's face. Shepard gave a small "hmph", a noise Thane had come to identify as playful annoyance. It goes without saying that sneaking around an assassin is difficult, never mind Thane. That never stopped Shepard from trying, and in some case succeeding, though.

As Thane rose from their share bed and waltzed over to his lover, Shepard couldn't help but smirk as she watched him through her peripheral vision. It never ceased to amaze her as to how, no matter what the situation maybe, the confident swagger in Thane's stride. It was like watching a king cobra steal across desert sand. A constant weave of muscles all intent on a perfect kind of locomotion that portrayed so little effort and yet so much power. So much perfection.

In her admiration Shepard hadn't noticed the object of her awe snuggle into her side and begin to indulge himself with her hair, something he'd made a habit of recently. Noticing his Siha's far off look, Thane leaned into his partner until his lips brushed her ear.

"What are you thinking about Siha?" Thane's low vibrato sent shivers along Shepard's spine. Despite the feeling of her stomach trying to flutter through her skin Shepard kept up her bravado and threw her favorite assassin an arrogant smirk.

"Most certainly not you, Mr. Krios."

Thane raised a scaly brow in a skeptical look.

"Is that so?"

Shepard shivered again. Damned drell and his sexy voice.

"It is so. I am most certainly not thinking about you. Or those lovely abs of yours."

Thane smiled, perfect white teeth showing in his perfect smile. Thane's scaly hand began to creep under Shepard's night shirt.

"Oh, then what _are_ you thinking about?" Thane voice was husky and provocative. A perfect invitation. But sadly, one she'd have to turn down.

Shepard gave a sad smile and moved Thane's hand from her stomach and instead twined her fingers with his own.

"Sorry."

Thane nodded in understanding. Shepard had been taking a lot grief from the council lately. She hadn't felt like _loving _lately and Thane wasn't the kind to disrespect that. Thane would only smile and offer what comfort he could while muttering sweet nothings or complaining as to why Arashu had to send him such a teasing Siha.

Shepard straightened her posture and cleared her throat.

"What I am thinking about is how to beat myself in this game."

"Game?"

Thane focused on the paper beneath Shepard's hands. On the paper were several sets of lines. Each set had four parallel lines with two pointing horizontally and the other two pointing vertically. This made one complete box in the center of the shape and eight incomplete boxes surrounding it. The boxes then had two kinds shapes in each seemingly spread at random. X's and O's were placed in the boxes where some had a slash through the shapes that were the same and always in sets of three while others (and most) simply had large C shapes written when no sets of three could be found.

Thane blinked. This was a game?

"Siha, what is this?"

Shepard looked at Thane as if he'd asked her why living things needed to breathe for a second but a look of comprehension soon replaced it.

"This is Tic-Tac-Toe, Thane. It's a human children's game. Want to play?"

Thane glanced at the paper and then back to the Normandy's commander.

"Not especially. I don't see how a game could game could be played here."

Shepard thought just as much.

"Here, I'll show you."

Shepard drew the lines again and nothing more.

"All right. Here are the rules. Tic-Tac-Toe involves two players. One player will use X's," Shepard pointed to an X in an already filled bracket. "and the other will use O's." again she pointed "The object of the game is to create three shapes that are in one row, be it horizontal, vertical, or diagonal. Each player takes can make only one shape per turn and both players are allowed to block the advance of the other during their turn. When either player makes three in a row they simply draw a line through the three and that would be that players point. If neither player wins a C is drawn through the game and is referred to as a "cat's game" or more simply a draw." Shepard stopped and seemingly combed through her mind for a moment. "That's all the rules. Any questions?"

Finally drawing himself out of his Siha's voice, Thane thought on it.

"No, I understand the game itself now. But, what is the point of this game? What does it teach?"

Shepard regarded Thane's curiosity for a second as the need to be mischievous stormed around her mind. It was rare for someone to be more informed in something than Thane was. The man was a walking encyclopedia in most cases. However, there were instances where even Thane could be adorably clueless. The experience of explaining the fact that human females had breasts and what they were used for to Thane still had her falling into bouts of laughter that nearly rendered her unconscious from deprivation of air. With that in mind, what could she do with a game like Tic-Tac-Toe.

Much. So much.

"It's a strategy game, my dear." A Cheshire cat had settled its mouth on Shepard's face.

Thane raised a scaled eyebrow and the onyx depths that were the drell's eyes flashed with the curiosity of a child. "Strategy?"

Shepard nodded enthusiastically, a speech already prepared to trap her lover into a challenge she knew he wouldn't be able to resist. She knew listening to that turian at the hunting shop would do pay off.

"Consider this Thane. There are two armies. Both are equal in man-power, fire-power, ammunition, and the soldiers are equally skilled. Their common goal is to reach into enemy territory and retrieve whatever it is that their countries need that the other has. What factor would be the one to decide the outcome of a battle should these two armies clash?"

Thane knew that without thinking. "The effectiveness and strategic prowess of their leaders."

Shepard's face was slowly being cleaved in half. "Exactly! This game focuses on honing the strategic mind without adding complications that a child won't really understand until they are older. In this way it is simple and fun for the kids while giving them something they can use in the future."

Thane nodded, now impressed and somewhat surprised he had not noticed this before.

"So, shall we play?" Shepard asked again.

This time Thane could not refuse.

"Let's play."

Shepard placed her spare pencil in Thane's hand and so it began.

(A/N: Follow along on paper if you want. Makes it more fun)

Shepard went first, drawing an X in the upper left-box in the bracket. Thane place an O in the opposite corner. An X was placed in the bottom corner. An O in the middle left and a small smile from Thane at the block of his Siha's advance. Unshaken, Shepard placed an X in the lower right hand corner and smiled triumphantly.

"I win."

Thane gave her a questioning look.

"How so?"

Shepard gestured to the paper.

"Look."

Thane did so and actually gave a gasp of surprise. He was trapped. It was possible to block of Shepard's advance through the center but that just meant the bottom row would be taken advantage of and vice versa. Thane's obsidian eyes narrowed and Shepard shivered.

"Let's play again."

Shepard grinned. She had him hooked.

"God danm it! Why did that bastard cat have to freaking send me!"

Jack aka "Subject Zero" was, in short, pissed. She had just been enjoying her dinner. Everything was nice and quiet and she could just kick back and relax.

And then it happened. It was as if she suddenly became the last marijuana plant in a room full of crack heads. Almost all of the Normandy staff had settled around her and practically dragged her to the elevator leading to Shepard's quarters as she was given a run down as to why she was being kidnapped from her own room.

As one could imagine, things did not run smoothly. But eventually she got the run down. Apparently Shepard and her creepy ass boyfriend hadn't been seen for several days. Now, everyone was used to this as Thane was recently cured of his Kerpal's and the two had been what everyone could assume was celebratory sex for some time now and with the mission finally over they had a bit more time on their hands. What had everyone worried, though, was that in those span of days neither scale nor hide of either of the two lovers had been seen anywhere. Not on the observatory deck, not in Life Support, and not in the mess hall. Those two had to eat something at some point and if the two were having some kind of sex marathon then it would be well, _dangerous,_ if one or both of the two were to get pissed off and decided to strangle whoever dared to interrupt them.

Guess who everyone thought had the highest chance of survival in a situation like that.

The unstable biotic with chip on her shoulder big enough to dig graves with…

yeah…

So brings Jack to the door of Commander Shepard. Jack rapped he knuckles against the metal door.

"Hey! Shep! Scales! Get your asses out of each other and get some food! You're freaking everyone on the ship out and keeping me from a good meal!"

Jack had expected to hear something. Anything. Shuffles of clothing. Groans of annoyance or lust. Hell, even a good old fashioned "PISS OFF!" would have been in order. What she didn't expect was utter silence. A literal void of sound was the only thing she could detect from the room. Jack sighed.

"I'm coming in!"

And she did. Jack palmed the door and walked in expecting to see the couple asleep or just drunk off their asses.

Again, expectations. _Shattered_.

Jack's face morphed from a face of just general annoyance to utter horror. The entire room was covered in Tic-Tac-Toe brackets. The wall, the floor, the bed. Hell, even the fish tank and the ceiling were covered in unimaginable mounts of X's and O's.

And then there was Thane and Shepard. _Dear God_, Thane and Shepard.

The two were indeed asleep and if they would have looked adorable if weren't for the fact that the two were bare-ass naked and covered from head to toe in Tic-Tac-Toe brackets.

Jack just gapped. What the hell was she supposed to do now?

A moan rose up from Shepard's body.

Slowly, the Commander of the Normandy woke up and looked around. Her eyes were red with black rings round her eyes and her stomach had receded to the point that her ribcage was beginning to show.

Shepard just stared blankly into space as if she were still asleep. Jack assumed she thought she was dreaming and probably would have continued with that thought if Jack hadn't been standing in the door way and a children's game wasn't covering nearly every inch of her and Thane's skins.

The look of realization on Shepard's face was nothing short of priceless. Jack would have traded her tattoos just to have a picture of it. Shepard's face was now as red as her eyes and the possibility of Shepard just shriveling into nothing under a rock somewhere was very close to becoming reality. But being the bold woman that she was, Shepard only smiled and chuckled.

"Heh. Ran out of room."

Jack turned around and left, fully intent on bleaching her mind of everything she just witnessed.

Ok. Now review. REVIEW. YOU KNOW YOU WANT TO!

Send me some games that you want Thane, Shep , and even other characters to play. Except chess. I know nothing of chess (except that the horsies are knights). All the games need to stay under the M rating people. So no sex games! (Fun as that may be, you must RESIST!)

K' then. Later.


End file.
